Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
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