i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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