I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
