so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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