I hate your face
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
