hotel room ftw
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
