I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
