Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
