I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
