You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
