I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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