probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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