If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
She's not a foreskin expert like you
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
