my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize