Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
