6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
