Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
