That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
