I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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