My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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