Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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