Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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