all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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