you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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