so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
