It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
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