I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
