We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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