His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
