worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I queefed so loud it echoed.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
