Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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