Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
