is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
a search helicopter?!
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Randomize
