i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
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I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
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I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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