That's intense
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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