So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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