In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
