How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
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