We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
third nipple confirmed
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
