so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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