Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
