Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
