you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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