Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
