Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize