So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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