If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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