I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Randomize
