Me. At least after what I've been through.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She liked it
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm passing your future prison.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring