Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.