Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.