Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

i jhust puked up my retainher.

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(207): View more from Maine

watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food

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(425): View more from Washington

he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(530): View more from California

We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.

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(416): View more from Toronto

The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.

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(519): View more from Ontario

Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest

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