in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".