Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I need a beard to bite.