officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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