i jhust puked up my retainher.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest