haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
