apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
