i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
