dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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