I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
