sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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