Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
