You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
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