Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Randomize
