She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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