never play flip cup with pint glasses
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
