I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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